


Please Don't Say You Love Me

by TryingToScribble



Series: Song Prompts [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Feels, First Kiss, Happy Ending, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, kind of, obviously, they're both idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23675671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TryingToScribble/pseuds/TryingToScribble
Summary: Demons are demons. They tell lies and manipulate. So please don't say you love me because I might not say it back.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Song Prompts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631662
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Please Don't Say You Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song [Please Don't Say You Love Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxNYvk_0Onw) by Gabrielle Aplin

“I love you.”

The words punctured the air and made time come to a stop.

He couldn’t possibly mean them. He was playing a trick because that’s what he does, he’s a demon. Demons don’t love. Can’t love. And absolutely, definitely not an angel.

“Don’t.” Aziraphale croaked out in a desperate plea.

Crowley’s brows furrowed and he took a step closer, unsure. Aziraphale struggled backwards a step in reaction. It made Crowley’s frown deepen.

“Angel?” He asked timidly. The tone made Aziraphale look up into his eyes but he was still skeptical.

Aziraphale shook his head. His hands pressed together almost in prayer, then the fingers tangled and unwound and couldn’t keep still.

“Don’t.” The angel repeated.

Crowley took another step forward, slower this time, his hands palm out in front of him but not reaching. “Don’t what, Angel?”

“Don’t say things like that.”

He was looking everywhere but Crowley. Every so often he took a sneaky yet scared peek out of the window. Of course Crowley noticed.

“No one is making me say anything, Angel.” Crowley said slowly. “No one is coming to take you away.” 

That made Aziraphale breathe out a huff of disbelief before he caught it. He thought he understood. He can’t understand. He looked down at his shoes for a beat. Another. Then his gaze shifted to Crowley’s boots, unable to look up again. “Then you don’t understand what you’re saying.” He whispered to the ground.

“What? That I love you?” Crowley asked tactlessly. It made Aziraphale flinch. Crowley saw that too. “But I do.” He added with certainty.

Aziraphale shook his head again and squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn’t cry.

“No, you don’t.” The angel said, finally, and heaved another unneeded breath. “You can’t.”

Crowley stepped forward again and Aziraphale was pinned to the desk at his back.

“Angel. Look at me.” His voice was soft and patient. Nothing Aziraphale had heard before.

No, that wasn’t true. It was nothing he was supposed to have heard before but had. Many times, in fact, over the years.

That thought crumbled his resolve. He held his breath and did as he was told. He spoke first, though.

“You don’t love me.” It was said almost as if he was explaining it to a child. He even smiled, if a little wobbly. “You don’t mean that but it’s okay. It’s okay.”

It was Crowley’s turn to shake his head then. “No, Angel, I do. Please, listen. When have I ever lied to you?”

“You’re a demon, it’s what you do.” It’s said without thought. The words were compulsory at this point.

Crowley growled. It was quiet, barely audible but for the fact that he was an angel. The demon is holding back frustration admirably. “No. Think about it. When have I _actually_ lied to you?”

Aziraphale’s features pinched as he thought. There must be a time. Any time.

He couldn’t think of it.

The realisation must have shown on his face because Crowley smiled, broken too. “See?”

Aziraphale swallowed. Yes, he did see. It was almost worse.

“Yes.” He whispered still, but cut off Crowley’s next words with a little more volume. “But Crowley, love means different things. You’re just… You’re confused. We’re friends. It was bound to happen.”

Crowley almost bit his tongue with all the things he wanted to say to prove himself.

“You might love me but not… You don’t mean that you _love_ me.” The words burned his mouth but he needed Crowley to understand so he couldn’t hurt him again. He can’t hurt like that again.

“ _Angel._ ” Crowley pleaded, his hands finally reaching. It hurt that Aziraphale shied away. He never shied away from touch. Ever.

“You don’t love me.” The angel choked back a sob.

There was a moment. Just a beat where Crowley huffed an incredulous breath into the silence. “I’ve loved you forever.” It was whispered but sounded like it was forced from his lungs.

Something in the words or the tone with which it was said caught Aziraphale’s focus. It made him look up startled. Crowley was startled too.

“I’ve loved you forever.” Crowley said again. He tested the taste of the words on his tongue and then gave Aziraphale a smile, slight and watery, but still a smile. It made Aziraphale’s heart hurt to see such a look on Crowley. Could it be? “You don’t have to say it back.” Crowley continued over Aziraphale’s internal debate. “You don’t have to love me back.” Crowley shrugged and shuffled his feet suddenly uncomfortable. “I can see you don’t. It’s fine. I just wanted you to know.” He shrugged again.

Aziraphale’s breath caught painfully in his throat. “Crowley.” The word was choked. It didn’t know if it wanted to be warning or pleading. The demon wasn’t listening anymore anyway.

“No, no. It’s okay. I’ll just…” He pointed to the door over his shoulder with a thumb and then began to turn away from the awkwardness. Aziraphale let him go, his heart hammering in his chest. Until he reached the door. Aziraphale didn’t notice that he had moved until he pulled Crowley’s hand away from the door handle.

Crowley froze and stared at their hands where Aziraphale was now holding his in a grip like a vice. Aziraphale stared too.

“I can’t say it back.” The angel whispered.

Crowley swallowed and blinked slowly. “I know. It’s okay.”

“No. No, you don’t know.” Aziraphale shook his head. He bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes. “I can’t say it back…” He took a deep breath but could sense Crowley finding more words so he finished his thought quickly. “If you don’t mean it.”

It stopped Crowley in his tracks and he choked and fought with the emotions that clawed at his throat.

“Angel.” Came the pained sound.

“Do you mean it?”

“ _Angel_.” He begged.

Between one blink and the next, they were kissing.

The demon was pulled down by the angel’s hand now fisted in the front of his shirt. Crowley almost squeaked but saved himself with a less embarrassing low moan. Their eyes closed as they leaned into each other. Crowley’s free hand sought for purchase on the angel’s waist and squeezed. Their other hands, still grasped together between them, fell in an arc to their sides, their fingers linked as they did.

Crowley pulled away first and breathed in through his nose. His eyes blinked open and an uncharacteristic sappy smile grew across his face when he saw the small, shy smile on Aziraphale’s lips.

“I really do mean it.” Crowley said into the space between them just in case of misunderstanding.

Aziraphale nodded and flattened his fisted hand against Crowley’s heart. “I’ve loved you forever.” He agreed.


End file.
